Dumb Things People Say To Musicians
There is one trepidation I have about social gatherings, particularly when I don't know a lot of people present. It's not just the small talk
- after
all, strangers have to start somewhere. It's the tendency of
things people say when/if they find out I am a musician - when a person
gives you that "Oh that's so cute" vibe and you see it coming.
"So...what's the name of your group?" In
of itself, this is not a bad question whatsoever...rather it's when you
confirm not to being in a commercially notorious ensemble they
look past you with that lazy Sunday afternoon kind of gaze. The implication being your legitimacy is premised
on immediate recognition. If the gathering crowd are clueless enough
you can always respond with rattling off Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith or Oingo Boingo
though if it is a crowd of those in your demographic you can get creative
- tell them your band MonkeySnot (emphasizing it as one word) just got
signed by Simon Cowell and will be playing the superbowl halftime show.
Or ought we retort by asking the
name of the company for which they work instead of asking what
they do? And as they confirm their company is not a Fortune 500 we
can tilt our head and say, "Oh...that's nice" as we walk away.
"You must have a lot of groupies."
This one is a peach. It tells you more about a person's
motivation for approaching a job as an artist. Because I embarked on
this journey of developing my craft in drumming, expression and
perpetually hustling to land paying gigs so that I could be pre-emptively
renown for having lascivious proclivities.
"What is your day (real) job?" This one used to be perhaps the most annoying
inquiry but then I read Bill Bruford's
Bill Bruford The Autobiography
where he wrote about getting the exact same question at his wife's
gatherings even after his long list monumental musical achievments. I
figured if Bill still deals with it I can "roll" with it. I understand if
a person does not know a musician can make a living without being famous - but the disbelief that a musician can make a living
without having to be a commercial novelty indicates one
knows nothing of self-employment or entrepreneurship. This is exemplified by their insanity of living for a pension they're never going to get.
"You must love not having to get up early."
Oh...
"You
must love the flexible hours." Says whom? And what is flexible about
having to be somewhere on time to earn money regardless of the time of day?
"Well at least you're doing what you love to do."
Do people say this to hookers? So yes musicians also have to make an effort to not hate themselves for
the fact the love music.
The constant hustle that is required, the absolutely
unfair wage and time requirements...yeah, something more has to carry you
through this - but no, it doesn't make it okay because I
love to play drums - it actually makes it worse. And
perhaps to add a practical thought on this - one can have a day job and
still be a musician. This is a whole discussion unto itself
- read about it!
Ultimately you begin to wonder if
thoughtless statements and questions are just airing grievances by
those who resent not having the courage to follow-through on their own
interests. Then again such people wouldn't have the depth to have a desire for
self-actualization in the first place.
It's not that I'm offended per se by these things but that I am utterly bored by this kind of palaver
when it's insistent.
It is completely different
when a person is sincerely interested and it's not hard to tell. Some think
being a musician is a pretend career and we'd like them to pat us on the head like a nice doggy,
after
which I usually pee on their foot.
Thoughts? Comments? Criticisms? I'm open to read your thoughts!
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